Weight: A Mid-life Crisis

When Bonnie came to the crossroads of mid-life, she stopped for a minute to take stock of her life. It was time to get healthy or continue down the path of self-neglect.

"I had babies and I fed myself. I was very good to myself, and then I went, uumph!"
I am not even five feet tall, so my normal weight should be about 100 pounds. When I had my first child I went to 130 pounds. Then with the next child I went to 150 pounds. With each pregnancy I worked my way back to 115 pounds, but it took up to three years to get there. My last child was premature, she weighed four pounds and I gained maybe 40 pounds. I was almost 40 when I had that baby and that is when I realized losing the weight was going to be incredibly hard. My hormones had changed, and I did everything that I could do to lose weight. I didn't binge and purge, but I would starve myself and deprive myself.

"When I became middle aged I thought there were two ways to go: get fat or get fit."
When you are a woman mid 40s-50s, you either go this way or that way. You either address the issue that your biological body is changing and has changed forever, or you ignore it and you can be an overweight, unhappy, middle aged woman.

A woman has the greatest disadvantage because of her hormones -- they shut down. You have reproductive time, but when your reproductive season is over, it doesn't mean that your body is over. It means that it is different, and you have to address those differences. Insomnia, menopause, weight gain -- what do you do about that? You don't ignore it. You address it. You find out what is right for you. Study, research, share with friends, pay attention and keep a journal.

"Being a naturalist, I looked for a natural way to help with weight loss."
An herb that came out about seven years ago called Hoodia worked for me, but I also learned that your body needs to eat. You can never lose weight by not eating. You have to eat and you have to eat smart. I drink soy protein drinks, and I eat very well, very naturally.

"Any movement counts."
A dear friend of mine, her husband is a paraplegic. He is a fine artist and amazing, but he is also as big as my finger. One day I said, "Gee, he is so thin," and she said, "Do you see what he is doing? He is sitting in the chair wiggling. His doctor says that he burns 4,200 calories a day just through his wiggles." I thought to myself, if I sit there and read a book and shake my hand, can I lose weight? Yes! Any movement counts.

The last part that I do for myself as a woman is dance. I dance every single day of my life. I dance in front of a mirror, I do yoga, I do tai chi, I do movement to music because it makes me feel sensual, and that is important to me. I hope I do it until I am 90.

"I stripped down and looked myself over."
I taught acting for many years and one of the exercises was what I called an act of accountability. It is scary, but it's a moment of truth. You shut the door and you don't tell anyone what you are going to do. You strip naked and assess what you have. But instead of going "I hate my hips," look at what is beautiful. There are more lovely things happening in a woman's body than there are things that are horrible.

"This is a marvelous time of life."
I have lost about 30 pounds, and I feel better and more youthful than I did when I was young.